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Angel079 09-07-2010 09:24 AM

When you loose your dog and the grief kills you
 
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Some of you likely remember me talking about MY baby, MY Maxx, the one and only best dog in the world, who frankly was like my baby, I always tried to give him all the very best, cared for him the way many of you would only care for a child.

A little over 2 months ago Maxx suddenly started crying out when we touched his sides, so I took him right to the Drs who said its likely a back injury. At the time this made perfect sense as we had our Nephew here for summer break who slept in a high bed and hardwood floors in the room so Maxx hurting himself jumping off there made sense to me.

Week by week would pass and Maxx would just cry our LOUD whenever you touched him, I went back received diff meds each & every week, done Xray's, Ultrasound, anything the Dr wanted to check I did, was it my baby and I wanted only the best for him and a speedy recovery.

Little over a week ago, I have had it and drove him to another Vet because of the 2 day weekend my dog all the sudden over night looked as if he swallowed a basketball, which about more then tripled his size.
This other Dr immediately canceled all his appointments after he did a Ultrasound on Maxx, said we needed to open his belly up and release a LOT liquid that's blowing up his belly like this. Maxx was cut open from the rip bone down to his private parts and therefore had to stay at the hospital over night. They also took a biopsy while they had him open.
Dr told me they drained 2lbs of liquid (out of a 18lbs dog), that his entire inside of the belly was totally inflamed and the fat parts between the organs were rock solid hard.
From there on we had him on heavy pain meds (called oxycotton) and waited one week for the biopsy results.
When they came in and the Dr called us all I really heard was finale stages of cancer and euthanize....

That was last Fri, the Thurs just before that I had taken him in to get his belly drained AGAIN as it build up fluids again VERY fast and this time they drained a little OVER 2lbs (from a 18lbs dog).

By Saturday Maxxy already did very bad again and his belly was very bad again, he started to not wanting to eat which worried me even more cause he's diabetic. So Saturday my hubby and I decided to get out and do all his favorite things with him like car rides the lake etc.

Sunday morning he was very weak, despite him having had 3 oxycotten pills before lunch it seemed like they didn't do nothing. I layed in bed next to him comforting and talking to him all day until he looked at me this one certain way.....

He looked at me with these painful, no more cheerful eyes, saying "Mom please helps me it hurts sooo bad"
So I called my husband and the Dr and we drove Maxx in for a emergency and I held him, I held him so hard and never wanted to let him go and I felt the life slip out of him when the Dr put the needle in his arm.

I miss him sooo much and it hurts so bad, I tell myself he's at peace now and happy and its selfish I know but I want him back home, he's never been gone away from my over night in all the years...Its ripping my heart apart.

This Sunday, Sep 5th 2010 @ 4PM my beloved baby boy of 7yrs was called home

OscarLoverJim 09-07-2010 09:30 AM

im sooooo sorry. such a memory of when i had to have my dog samantha put to sleep a few years ago and held her while she went to sleep. broke my heart and i even had to quit my job at the time sadley to say. i still miss her. all i can say is time does heal although i can feel just as bad if i think about everything again. i guess after some time it will not come to your mind as much but my good wishes and sympathy go out to you. debbie

kitten_penang 09-07-2010 09:33 AM

time will heal your hurt but the memories will forever be with you.all of us at one time in our lives had to put our fur pet down due to conditions that are out of our control.i'm sorry bout the lost.be strong an preserver and everything will be fine

LisaC144 09-07-2010 09:48 AM

As I sit here with a tissue in my hand and tears running down my face, I can't help but imagine what you're going through right now. Natalie, please know I am thinking of you, your husband, and your beloved Maxx. I'm sorry you're feeling such pain and sorrow. I can't thank you enough for allowing me to get to know Maxx vicariously through you. He was a sweet and loving boy who will always know what a wonderful life he had with you. RIP Maxx.

Inga 09-07-2010 10:51 AM

Natalie I am so sorry for your loss. I too know the sorry and empty feeling that comes with having to say goodbye to such a dear friend. My dogs are like my children as well and you are right, few understand the depth of love one can feel for their dog. There are no words that can make you feel better at this time but please know, I am thinking of you and your husband. I pray that time will heal your heart and you will be left with only happy memories of your dear Maxx. Rest in Peace little guy. :-(

aunt kymmie 09-07-2010 12:29 PM

Natalie- It leaves an ache in my gut to read about Maxx. I know all about the huge gaping hole it leaves in your heart when you have to say goodbye to a dog that you have loved and lived with for many years. It sucks. Some people disagree with me but whenever I've had to say goodbye to a dog I run right out and adopt another one. I can't handle living dogless. When I have that "hole" that won't heal I fill it right back up again.
I hope you're feeling better soon.

Angel079 09-07-2010 12:56 PM

Its just sooo quiet in my house no, so lonely cause in 7yrs I could never do a step without him following me, he was ALWAYS by my side and I know in his own way he now still is, just not where I can see him.

Those of you who followed me through the mess last year of him becoming diabetic, the other Dr 99% sure now that this cancer eatng him up is what caused the sugar to go up like this.

Thou he seemed his bouncy ball happy self to us, he has been dealing with this for a long time.

Oddly enough thou he didn't cry infront of us to let us know that something was wrong until the day hubby & I found out we're pregnant....so yea I feel like God took an Angel to give me another one...I don't approve of this, but even if I don't understand WHY right now, I'm sure there's a reason for all this.

aunt kymmie 09-07-2010 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angel079 (Post 466302)
Oddly enough thou he didn't cry infront of us to let us know that something was wrong until the day hubby & I found out we're pregnant....so yea I feel like God took an Angel to give me another one...I don't approve of this, but even if I don't understand WHY right now, I'm sure there's a reason for all this.

Wow, you're pregnant? I didn't know! Congrats, Natalie. When one door closes, another one opens.

willow 09-07-2010 04:46 PM

gosh,i am so very sorry.
it's so very hard to let go,but you did the right thing,and he'll be right there
at rainbow bridge waiting to greet you i know he will.
i know what it feels like,and the feeling of the empty house,it's an awful feeling
and the void is huge.
i just want to say thinking of you and your husband,i'm so sorry.

LisaC144 09-07-2010 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aunt kymmie (Post 466450)
When one door closes, another one opens.


You got that right! Congratulations, Natalie.


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