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Zenandra 02-02-2010 12:51 PM

What Would You Do In This Situation?
Ok, I have a "friend", lets call her sally cause I don't want to give out real names. I have known sally for almost 10 years, though we just became friends maybe 4 years ago. We ride horses together, and it's nice because I always have someone to ride with. To hang out with and talk horses with. My boyfriend and her boyfriend are best friends, so it seems like a great situation, right?

Well... wrong, lol. She is a very very spoiled, selfish person. We have gotten into countless fights which have resulted in us not talking for months at a time. She will just assume she can ride my horses and my barn owners horses (she doesn't even board there) without asking. She will only do things if they are convenient for her, and god forbid you do something that she doesn't think you should be doing... I have always tried to be the bigger person, to try and see the best in her, but I'm getting really tired of it...

I'm tired of all her complaining, her selfishness, the degrading tone she always uses with me, she obviously thinks she's so much better...

She nearly ruined my horse...

And deep down inside I really think there is a very kind-hearted vulnerable person, but 9 times out of 10 she refuses to let that person show... But ive seen it and I think thats why I stick around, because I know who she could be...

But she did something yesterday that was extremely messed up... She didn't do it to me she did it to her boyfriend. Her boyfriend (lets call him sam) and his good friend (lets call him ricky) were talking and ricky doesn't like sally very much so he said to Sam (jokingly) how he was mad at him cause he was back with her and such, in a very joking tone. Sally overhears takes the phone from sam and begins to tell Ricky that his mom, grandma, and greatgrandma (they passed away in september in a car accident) died because he's such a horrible person and it was Karma! Now that is just a horrible thing to say... What kind of person would say something like that?

That really made me question why im friends with her at all... So I don't know what to do, stay around, or tell her what I really think and risk losing my closest friend? Though she's not such a good friend anyway... *sigh* that was long! If you read the whole thing you deserve a cookie....

molliefan09 02-02-2010 01:07 PM

she sounds like a very mean person....i personally wouldnt be friends with a person like that...unfortunately it may be hard because you and her boyfriends are best buds and you may need to be kosher if they want to habg out and the two of you are involved.....but, you know her best...

willow 02-02-2010 02:28 PM

who mentioned cookies ?

if she has not changed in all the years you have known her then unless she
has something like a near death experiance,i doubt she will ever change hun.
you may have to let the friendship die a quiet death.
she really shouldn't have said the things she did about his family,i think that was cruel.

aunt kymmie 02-02-2010 03:32 PM

I agree with Willow, let the friendship die a quiet death. She seems like a very toxic person and life's too short to spend time with people like that.

briang 02-02-2010 03:36 PM

When I had my horse, if anyone would have rode it without my permission, that would have been enough for harsh words and if they did it again, there would have been trouble. NO ONE should think that it's OK to do so. I,personally wouldn't have anything to do with a person that disrespected me like that. I would also try to get her banned from the stable. If your boy loves you, he'll understand

Angel079 02-02-2010 04:37 PM

You know if at work, or school or elsewhere in society; day in & out we're faced with people that aren't exactly, let's say a healthy add on to your live. However you are forced to deal with these people to a certain extent (eg at work).

That said I pers do not see the point in my personal life to add more unhealthy people around me; I like people I can laugh with, have fun with, depend on if I had to, people that are honest with me but respectful as well....just normal people with a good heart that's who I like around me.

dramaqueen 02-02-2010 05:15 PM

I have issues with people who touch my things without my permission. I would probably go ballistic.

Mean Harri 02-02-2010 06:23 PM

I disagree with Willow and Aunt Kymmie (sorry guys) on one point. Don't let it die a quiet death. You take your feelings, thoughts of how she is, and put all those adjectives in a great big giant ranting tell off to her face. Then you snap your fingers in the Z pattern with 3 snaps like the "sistas" do and turn and walk away after telling her off and never talk to the.. uh-hehm... girl again. That's what I would do. There are too many selfish, ego-maniacs that don't care about any one or anything but themselves. And they need to be told how it is and how they are. Our society is turning to crap and everybody is soooo afraid of offending someone. Well I say tough doo doo. If someone idiot is offended that's their problem. These elitest's don't care when they offend with their nastiness. I don't care when I offend them. Nor should you. Tell her off and feel good about it.

Harri rant over...

Romad 02-02-2010 07:45 PM

I gotta agree with Mean Harri on this one. I don't care how upset she was, what she said was meant to hurt deeply. She needs to be told how out of line and uncalled for that was. People like that continue to get away with viciousness and hurtfulness because no-one has the stones to call them out on it.

On the other hand, she sounds like a pretty troubled person. She prolly is stuffing down lots of unhappiness and her way to deal is to make someone else unhappy along with her.

If it were me, I'd be all done with her. But that's just me.

I hope you're able to keep some distance from the situation.

SummerOj 02-02-2010 08:11 PM

I had a friend like that. I did what Mean Harri did and in the end it turned out for the better. She has to realize she cant do some of the things she did.

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