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Rant: Why ask for help if you're not looking for any?

This is a discussion on Rant: Why ask for help if you're not looking for any? within the Off Topic Discussions forums, part of the The Tropical Fish Keeping Community category; --> I am never as surprised by that which I do not/did not know,as I am surprised by that which I thought I did know. ...

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Rant: Why ask for help if you're not looking for any?
Old 12-13-2012, 12:30 PM   #11
 
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I am never as surprised by that which I do not/did not know,as I am surprised by that which I thought I did know.
Is wise to keep this in mind in my view when seeking advice on nearly anything.
I am but a basement hobbyist who over forty year's ,,have managed to keep various species from Discus,Microgeophagus Ramirezi, along with nearly all of the tetra species in moderately hard water with few problem's.
I killed untold number's of fishes when I first began, by trying to get the fishes to adapt to what I thought they should when the simple answer to my problem's was ..keep fishes that enjoy the water I have rather than chasing some magic pH,GH,KH.
Folk's are free to heed the free advice I, and other's here with expierience offer, but should not become too upset when thing's go south.
I will so long as I am allowed,,, offer this free advice based solely on my expieriences.
Folk's can ignore or heed this advice.Either way,, I ain't gonna lose no sleep over it.
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Old 12-13-2012, 12:33 PM   #12
 
I agree that it's human nature. Some people just love to argue, whether they're right or wrong.
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Old 12-13-2012, 12:37 PM   #13
 
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I think maybe we should all be more careful about the words we use, and say how we feel and what we think as compared to accusing.
Examples:
"You're wrong." Vs "I disagree"
"You're being rude" (or even "I feel like you are being rude") vs "I feel my advice isn't being heard."
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Old 12-13-2012, 12:43 PM   #14
 
Hello, my name is Vivien Bullard. My husband and I live in Joelton TN. I hereby apologize to anyone on this forum who I have offended, whether it be directly or indirectly. I am guilty of not knowing when to shut my mouth, and I apologize for that. It is not my nature or my intentions to offend anyone, I am really a kind person, with problems. I sincerely hope that the people I have upset or offended will accept my sincere apology. I am trying my best to be a better person. Thank you.
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Old 12-13-2012, 01:11 PM   #15
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redchigh View Post
I think maybe we should all be more careful about the words we use, and say how we feel and what we think as compared to accusing.
Examples:
"You're wrong." Vs "I disagree"
"You're being rude" (or even "I feel like you are being rude") vs "I feel my advice isn't being heard."
This reminds me of rehab.

Here is a perfect example of someone really wanting advice that fits in with what they already have planned:

http://www.tropicalfishkeeping.com/f...plecos-122521/

Yes, it's me.
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Old 12-15-2012, 02:53 AM   #16
 
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I think honestly the reason I get so absolutely frustrated with those threads you're talking about (the, "I'm not going to listen to what you have to say, I believe I'm right, even though I asked for help"), is because, as someone mentioned earlier, lives are at stake. Yes, they are "just" fish, but they are living, breathing organisms. They feel pain, they feel stress. And I will admit, I am the biggest bleeding heart out there, but I think everyone here who is experienced and has gotten attached to their fish, learns to love them and care for them and look out for them. But when someone blatantly disregards advice, no matter how calmly, rationally, and eloquently it's said, and you KNOW their fish are going to suffer miserable short lives, it hurts.

It hurts because if they would just LISTEN, and do one or two minor things and stop doing others, it could be fixed.

I've learned to just breathe deeply and move to another thread, and not to bother posting. I can see where it's going and that just makes me sadder.

I know what you mean, the 'weird affirmation'. Like they need to be told they're right, even though someone will over 40 years is specifically pointing out the flaws. I mean, what could a dozen people with decades of experience POSSIBLY know, right? Let's just ignore them because I know I'm right, even though all my fish die within a week.
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Old 12-16-2012, 03:44 PM   #17
 
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sadly there will always be people around who are unable to grasp
what's being explained to them.

like when a man is lost and refuses to ask for directions j/k

i've seen many a thread that i have chosen to ignore as i know where it's going,
and i seriously can not enter into stupid.com
and now i have no tank i'll just
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Old 12-16-2012, 03:50 PM   #18
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by willow View Post
sadly there will always be people around who are unable to grasp
what's being explained to them.

like when a man is lost and refuses to ask for directions j/k

:



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Old 12-16-2012, 05:47 PM   #19
 
Well regardless I suggest you all prepare yourselfs for the after Christmas newbie rush
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Old 12-16-2012, 05:48 PM   #20
 
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Originally Posted by Mikaila31 View Post
Well regardless I suggest you all prepare yourselfs for the after Christmas newbie rush
Oh lordie.
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