It has been a crappy few months here in my section of existence but I have made a point of finding silver linings and bright sides, and positive things to say.
But HOLY COW I'm just not that nice of a person and holding back is kicking my butt.
It hasn't rained in over 2 months. The day before I put rain guards on my truck to be exact. And for weeks I have been gathering people for a huge yard sale. I stayed up ALL night last night doing final tweaks (and also cause my sleep button is broken but that's another story) only to have clouds roll in and high humidity this morning.
I was still optimistic. Well, everyone else backed out about an hour ago. I was willing to go it alone, but for the fact that I don't even have help now getting this furniture outside. SOOOO all this crap is in my hallway and workshop and unencumbered and completely in my way until I can manage to reschedule.
So I drove around, gathered all the signs, sent e-mails to the people who responded to the ads, and posted a cancellation notice.
Well the would be yard sale would be starting in 20 minutes and now it's looking to be clearing and I just got two calls asking if I was still going ahead with it.
I'm so infuriated. I know it's not their fault and no one wants to have to lug wet stuff around etc. I'm not bothered by that, it's just really hard to not feel singled out when this little episode has been the pattern of my life for the past six months.
Dangle the carrot, end in sight, keep going.... monkey wrench.
I'd dearly love for something to go as planned. Or maybe just to have one of these people that supposedly cares to come through for me. Its not like they don't all know I'm not 100% right now, or like I haven't asked for help (even though it kills me to do so and I haven't done so in the past ten years).
I still need help with some other stuff but my dearest friends and even my parents can't be bothered to actually help. My friends get me cards to apologize for not following through and my parents send me money to hire people.
And here I am being gracious and polite and secretly wondering if they're just being nice because that's what the handbook says to do, or if being nice to poor sick me is some sort of brownie point thing to them.
I think I'm just being nit picky and should shut up and use the money to hire someone to haul all this stuff away, finish painting, and organize what's left. It's just hard to feel like it when I don't even have anyone to call to discus paint colors and secrets to perfect organization. My poor husband, he has to have all those convos with me and I know he's faking it but I'm so grateful that he tries. Only 9 more months til he's home. Yay.