Dog Show Language....
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Dog Show Language....

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Dog Show Language....
Old 02-11-2008, 05:39 PM   #1
Lonewolfblue's Avatar
Dog Show Language....

I thought this was pretty good so I figured I would pass it along to help some newby show folks understand what it is all about....the vocabulary here covers showing in conformation, field, obedience and agility

Show Terms Explained

Degree to which dog handlers will bend over backwards to impress

(a) How to arrange the chequebook so your husband won't know how much
money you spent on dog shows last month. Usually done in the bathroom
with the door locked;
(b) Ability to hold coffee, danish, leash, treats and entry form all
at once.

(a) Name for a lady dog;
(b) Name often heard at dog shows, not always to describe a lady dog.

Blind Retrieve-
When you can't see the toy under the furniture.

Canine Gastrointestinal Catastrophe {aka GAS} usually happens in the ring or hotel room

The hairy covering of a dog that usually falls out about one week
before the Specialty show.

What you do when the judge doesn't like way your dog moves.

(a) lady dog with children;
(b) expression frequently overheard at dog shows as losers leave the

Shown by those hot-headed competitors.

To chase a judge from show to show in an effort to attain more breed

Double Bind-
Finding two toys under the furniture.

Method of getting to ringside when late.

"Sweet" look adopted by dogs while staring ravenously at chunks of

Degree to which some gentlemen handlers dress more than others.

What winners are accused of doing to judges' nests.


Force Fetch-
Dog drops the toy under furniture, scratches at the carpet until
you're forced to "fetch" it.

Part of the dog often stacked toward the outside of the ring so the judge can't see it.

Guard Hair-
An activity in which one watches intently as the dog's hair falls
out, in clumps, just after entries are mailed.

(a) what you feel like when your dog beats the one you had just sold
to an eager novice;
(b) expression often screamed to attract the attention of (intermittantly) deaf dogs.

As in "Maximum Allowed," a measurement which all champions fall under
by AT LEAST 1/8 of an inch.

A way of financing your dog shows by the use of jewelery such as
wedding rings.

Where you go when the kids fight and your husband yells at you.

Trash left all over the building and parking lot after a dog show.

What to wear when you have to show the pet you sold six months ago.

What to put on your kids at a dog show to prevent them from calling
your competition what they overheard you call him last night.

Cute marks left all over your French doors.

What your husband tells the minister you are doing out in the kennel
with the dog and the bitch.

Running so fast as to pass the 1st place ring marker and plow into
the judge and the stewards.

Dog food with lots of coupons.

Minute, invisible awards for winning which you cannot convince your
spouse are more important than cash prizes.

Small, dog like food-processing machines with the ability to stink up
an entire house and collectively deafen a band of magpies. (These
creatures have not yet been perfected, as they come with leaky
systems, and can also be dangerous to weak hearts and bank accounts.)

Qualifying Score-
Justifying the 170.5 you got in obedience today.

What you want to cut the other exhibitors into, after their pet wins.

Whatever your dog is good at, like bringing home dead cats or chewing
on walls.

What your dog has... if you turn down the lights and squint a little.

The kind of vehicle you need to haul around your dogs.
Lonewolfblue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2008, 03:38 AM   #2
Amphitrite's Avatar
Very good!
Amphitrite is offline   Reply With Quote

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