Boyfriend isn't as enthusiastic as I am

Vnessa123456

When my boyfriend and I happened upon a tiny 5 gallon tank at Walmart and he suggested that we buy it, I don't think he knew the repercussions of that action.

Now after half a year we have sunk probably over a thousand dollars into this hobby (and from what I hear, that's just a drop in the bucket compared to what's ahead of us.)

I started buying and reading book after book about fishkeeping, and started researching new species and visiting fish stores galore.

Unfortunately, I can start to see my boyfriend's eyes glaze over whenever I voice my concerns (for the 1000th time) that my Hillstream Loach is dead and not just hiding in his driftwood cave. He is saying things like "Can we talk about something other than fish now?"

Anyone have any ideas on how to reel him back in (no pun intended)? I was having such a good time with him when he was still captivated by our fish!

kalae

if i were you, i would maybe ease off on the fish comments and then he'll get back into it, as a casual thing instead of something big?

Romad

Don't worry - you have us From your comment "for the 1000th time" maybe you're being a little obsessive about it? I'm guessing that it's just your passion for your fishies.

We can't expect everyone to be as enthusiastic about fish as we are so it's great to be on a forum where most people can relate to you.

Just let him be with the fish and vent here instead.

LasColinasCichlids

My man has bought me my two biggest tanks. He helped in the beginning with the set up and what not. In the first month I would catch him staring aimlessly at the first tank (the 29g) just watching the fish.

We would occasionally discuss the fish needs, and he would voice his opinion. These days he seems to stop and look at the 15g more... he has a love hate relationship with my betta (the betta use to not like him and flare at him anytime he came by the tank, but they're cool now, lol).

But these days he doesnt have the enthusiasm he had in the beginning. So I found TFK, and am fortunate enough to have a best friend who is a fellow fish freak. Although my bestie has often told me to shut up because she is sick of our conversations seeming to always lead to fish talk... and thats ok, sometimes I need to be brought out of the water, lol.

Sometimes people not totally interested will enjoy it, and then get bored or tired of it. I think of it this way, I have my expensive fish hobby, and my man has his annoying and equally expensive video game hobby. He tried to get me into video games 2 years ago by buying me the Nintendo Wii... and he gets frustrated that I might use it once every 6 months if I get bored enough.

The only suggestion I can make is maybe finding out what kind of fish he would REALLY love to have, and setting up a tank for him to care for and love that has the fish of his desire in it. My man seemed to really like the cichlids I use to have, but not enough for me to get a nice 60+ gallon tank, LOL!!!

Good Luck either way!!!

Vnessa123456

I think that might be a good idea! The only problem is, my boyfriend seems to want "rare" fish, the kind you have to order online and that no one has ever heard of. He really wants to get these blue emperor tetras (in my opinion, they aren't as pretty as neon tetras, and are more expensive and impossible to find!)

I guess I'm going to try to get him his tetras and see if that makes him more interested in our hobby. (He is a huge gamer too, but I set the fish tank near the TV so he can glance over at it every once in a while :P )

LasColinasCichlids

Yeah, I prefer the rare fish myself, but I like having money in my pocket, so i settle for whats available! LOL

Men and their video games!!! LOL

Vnessa123456

Perhaps I should get him a fish video game! Hah! I guess for now I will have to carry the responsibility for caring for our tanks, but I'm going to take everyone's advice and stop gabbing so much to him about it.

Inga

I am jealous of all of you who have someone to share this hobby with. For me, it is pretty much the dogs and I that enjoy the fish at all. I guess I should be happy that my dogs enjoy watching them so much too. lol

Vnessa123456

That's so funny that your dogs watch your fish! I have two cats and they barely ever notice my tanks. You would think that cats would be captivated by fish :(

Inga

Oh Heaven's yes. My rescue dog will sit for hours quietly watching the fish. He likes the mystery snails too.

Here he is when I was first setting up one of the tanks
Don't worry, I got rid of all that hideous plastic crap and added all live plants and natural decor.

Keeping his eye on his little snail friend


I swear I can see him smiling from time to time. lol