Im sorry, Im comfused too where I should had post this.
Date of minor stroke 5/02/2010
Date I began this message 5/27/2010
Due to the minor stroke, I knowingly began this message knowing it would take me a long while to complete it, while each time reviewing this message, I was editing it due to the many errors made, so hopefully when posted, this message will be clear enough for all too understand. For im only able to type a short while depending on my physical strength and disabilities that was cursed by the minor stroke on 5/02/2010. My doctor advised that following the minor stroke I should remain hospitalized for close observation due to any further complications. I was told that I was at risk of a possible full blown stroke in the next few days to a stronger and more serious stroke.
Since 5/02/2010 I only seen my grandchildren I think three times, im unable to help with the kids as I done so sense almost eight years ago following their birth. Im sleeping a great deal these days for which im feeling extremely over tired much of the time and due to the stroke im left with a content piercing headache with a lost of vision and im setup with a specialist for as well, my hearing I feel has as well been damaged. As well im mostly always feel with extreme confusion and so, most of the time im staying home now for I now only try driving when its only a must.
I just remembered that im with numbness feelings on the left side of my face and left leg, it was hard to know this after the stroke because I was with great deal of confusion.
The reason for this message is that im very sad to say that I am force to quit the hobby after so many enjoyable years of tis marine hobby. And now im looking for what else I might do in the place of the marine hobby and im thinking of going back to oil painting and as for reading, it will have it difficulties for I been trying to read much at this time and I find myself falling a sleep and always awaking feeling confused, and I remember little at time of what I readied before falling a sleep.
I can say that im for the first time after so many years is feeling extremely scared, with fear to what if this disability becomes much worst.
I will be looking to sell my tanks and books and such, put I first need to put the time into it to taking pictures of everything and hopefully most items will be pick up in person, if I need to ship certain items, I will need the time to get a proper box for that shipping, put the tanks are to be pick up only.
I also almost forgotten that im with a strong numb feeling inside my skull, you know, like a feeling after some ones head struck a hard floor. I guess I cannot exactly explain that as well as I would like too.
So there be three large tanks, the two tanks I had setup as my eel tanks has been setup as one system. Itís a 70 and 120 gallon tanks with a 40 gallon sump I think it is with a euroreef skimmer and under the other tank stand is a UV with a chiller.
The other tank was to be my dream SPS tank, but I see now that it will never happen now, I waited so long and paid so much and now im with no choice but to call it quits. But rather then to say im quitting, im retiring from the hobby. Also I have the equipment I brought, the chiller for the 240 and skimmer with a calcium reactor. There be books and a few hundred lbs of aragonite sand, its clean and in 5.5 gallon pails.
Pictures of everything when I can manage it, will be taking of every item. Its funny, I bought a Macro lens a few years ago believing that I will have this reef tank up and running. Now I will either trade it in or I do some other hobby with it taking photos of butterflies and such.
On my computer, I had my computer guy make larger and have a magnifier for other wise I have for more greater problems to read anything. I do hope that this message is fully understood that im with no choice to retire from this marine hobby. I will retake up oil painting and take photos outdoors when im able too. I been typing a little ever so on and had been editing often for there would be many more errors.
After making a personal decision to retire from this marine hobby and I waited a few weeks so to know for sure my decision to leaving the hobby was a right choice to make. The thing here is, im napping much of the day off and on, for most days im taking three too four long naps. Im very tired at most times and I fall to sleep now quite easily, with that, im up most of the night, were as I sleep much of the day.
The one other thing which troubles me is that I wish to be always able to fend for myself, but it is much difficult now to manage cleaning house, I can not do as well in this as I done before the stroke. You all can see why im with much concern and is also a reason to wanting to move from this house in which the nearest house is about a few hundred yards down the road, so im with no one living near to check in on me, or my condition. And so im hoping to move from here somewhere after 18 months and I of course would need to find a walk in apartment.
I been also during these past two months, working on the list of items to sell. It isn`t the much typing I done, but rather was difficulty, much more difficulty then its ever been. I deleted the hundreds of files and everything totaled more then a thousand links for a few hundreds a lone were articles.